I think that I am finally gaining a little trust. Before I used to walk into a room and everything would go quiet. If the boys were joking around talking about whatever, they would just stop smile and stare at the ground. Now, they just keep on talking. The other day I was just sitting in the kitchen for probably an hour just talking... them talking about cars, music or whatever..... me listening and chiming in if I had anything to say. Then all of the sudden, they were asking me questions. Not silly things, but more serious things. (At this time I would like to thank my father, guess what, I actually do listen when you are lecturing me about my car!) They started asking me car questions, because I told them that someone was haggling them about their car troubles..... (I don't think I would EVER take my car to be fixed down here. Everyone is out to get more out of you. You take a car in, they tell you that you need to fix $1,000's of dollars worth of crap. In reality those things don't need to be fixed. Then if you do take it to be fixed regardless, there is the possibility that they break something on your way out so that you have to come back.... coooool, ok I shouldn't say this for ALL cases, but... it happens). It's funny because from the car conversation, it developed into a bank conversation. Savings, checking accounts, DO NOT GET A CREDIT CARD, all the way to money CD's. I can honestly say that I struggle with all that money stuff. But my information to them was like opening a door they had never thought of. Instead of walking around with a wad of cash duhhhh open a checking account..... Things like that. It's nice to finally feel, I'm not exactly sure what the right word is.... lets go with "accepted." Finally!
I went out to lunch the other day with the girl I used to tutor to talk about whats been going on and if she wants to come back. Within the first 5 minutes she looked at me and simply says, theres something different about you since the last time I saw you (probably at least a month ago). I asked her what it was, and all she said was she thought I looked happier. The smile on my face wasn't forced, the way I carried myself now vs. when I first met her, was completely different. Like I was stronger or something. All I could think was did I look that bad before? Could people tell that I was definitely out of my comfort zone, forcing myself through the thick of the beginning? I guess I don't have such a great mask after all. (I had a soccer coach yell at me one time because I wore my expression on my face, there was no way I could tell a lie with my expression. I guess he was right, and so is the girl). But I'm not trying to hide anything anymore. I am happier now, and I do feel stronger but that's because I finally feel comfortable in my own shoes. Apparently I don't adjust as quickly as I wish I could.
So, to a new subject.... I need something. I need a project. Something to call my own. Something that I want to see at Precious Blood. Some kind of creative cool thing that I can tackle and accomplish.... I don't know what that thing is? Its like every time I put my thinking cap on, this cloud comes and sits over my head blocking out anything I should be thinking about.... thought? anyone?
These days I look forward to checking my mailbox! I used to go weeks in college and never check the box because it would be a waste of time. Nowadays, I get real stuff in the mail! Whether is a Christmas card, (oh and some b-day cards in there too) or just a hey how are ya letter OR a sweet care package from some awesome people back in good ol' Missouri! (Or maybe I am just anticipating some snow boots I ordered online, to get me through the crazy snow that is promised to come soon enough.) Either way, I love getting a little something because it helps me realize that I've got some support out there. I have been here for roughly 4 months. Things around me are starting to sink in as every day life. I almost forget how the outside world works. I know it sounds weird and kind of dumb. I've accepted life here on the South side as normal. I'm not shocked by a whole lot anymore, but when I tell someone about work or whatever back home, or just outside of where I work... they just shake their head and kind of laugh, out of shock and just say, Oh Bon, you life.... (Guess what... I like it, my life that is.)
The biggest thing that I think I have conquered this week is the fact that... yeah I feel kind of alone sometimes, but if I feel alone its only because I have chosen to feel alone. I have made friends here (ok they might not consider me a friend, friend, but they are all I have... the boys at the center), I have awesome co-workers (they bet on my sister having her new baby, on what time he would come! Regardless, the money came to me to go buy a little present representing Precious Blood, maybe I should go buy a little pair of sweet kicks, since that's what the boys always buy, new shinny shoes?), I have family and friends and even people I don't even know out there thinking about me.... Sounds pretty awesome to me!
So with that little sweet realization I have to give a little shout out to my GODSON! Little Harrison Bryan Norman is here, and healthy! 11:21am 8lbs 9oz. (true Kane baby right there) 21in. long. I got to skype with everyone while they were at the hospital, me at work. I cannot wait to get home and chillax with the little man! I am so happy for my sister and brother-in-law! Congrats!
And with that... I am off to ponder what sweet little something to get the new guy, I get lost somewhere for the weekend :)
Friday, December 16, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
I believe I have some catching up to do.....
Warning: I apologise now, this could be a long one ;)
Here's a rough lay out:
Discrimination
17 dollars lighter
Help-Portrait
Birthday weekend
Shinan's (shenanigans)
We'll start out simple.... ha, I guess. Last week I had quite the convo. Someone was in to have their paper looked at, the paper was over "discrimination." So, myself and one of the boys started out with the basics, what is discrimination, what kind... wait? what kind of discrimination?-- you know, age, race, work, sex, ect ect ect. WOW timeout there is more than just race discrimination? (why yes, and so we begin) After internet searching, google (is great) and so forth, we stumbled upon this conversation. (I will try my best to relay the conversation) We are saying A-the other person B- is ME!
A. Bonnie can I ask you a question, and you promise you won't get angry with me?
B. I don't ever get mad, so of course you can.
A. You are here, the same age as I am, and you have this job. I could do your job. I know how to act, help and work with kids that come in and out of here. And you don't have their trust yet and don't know how to act with them yet. And you get paid for this. I feel like I have been discriminated against because you have this job and I didn't even get the chance.
B. But I don't get paid for this, I am a volunteer. I am here to learn and give back. I'm not here for recognition or a pay check.
A. But you get something in the end right? Like you are here because of school, or you will write a paper about this and get credit, or money for school right? Overall, you get something out of this right?
B. Sure, I get something out of this. I get the experience. I guess I get to add something else on my resume, thats all though...
A. Oh... well then you are here volunteering and its not part of school or anything like that. Volunteers always say that they are here to give back. Well, that's what all the older people say. They say they want to give back. But your 23 now, you haven't received anything. How can you give back something, if you haven't received anything yet?
Its like this idea keeps haunting me, poking at me every once in a while, right as I am forgetting, it pops up.-- So why are you here? Its like I am this huge mystery that everyone is trying to figure out.. surprise! I'm trying to figure it out too! It's interesting. I love being here, even if I am not doing a whole heck of a lot. I am learning more and more about people. Trying to think of ways to get some of these boys, some of my favorites to reach their potentials, trying to get them to think about the big picture, get them away from here. But, I don't know how.
Yesterday, I left 17 dollars in my purse. Strategically waiting for me to use it on my Target run to buy face wash and toothpaste. Well, I got to Target, picked up my desired whitening toothpaste and exfoliating face wash, opened up my wallet and BAM! Nothing was there. Cooooool. I guess I will confess and say that I'm not surprised that it didn't happen any sooner. I was mad, more than mad, pissed. The next day I was talking to one of the boys about it and he was so nice. He was sorry he didn't warn me sooner, or gave me some tips as to what I should have done. He just sat there and shook his head and apologized for whoever it was. Well, all I can hope for is that the money was spent on something good right (except who I thought it was miiiight have showed up later high..... nice) Moooooving on :)
Help-Portrait was a success, so I hear! I was unable to make it on that Saturday, but everyone said it was... organized chaos. So... sounds like a success to me!
My birthday weekend was fab! Best birthday I have had in years! No really! The past four years my birthday always landed on the week before college finals. Yuck! This year three of my best friends came up. We stayed down on Michigan ave. Shopped, walked, sight seeing, shopping, drinks, pizza, the bean, shopping. You know... all that fun stuff. It was so good! Now if only just one of them lived here!
I gave someone a ride yesterday and he asked me the next time we drove together, not to drive down the street that I did. Even though he wasn't in a gang, he was black, and he was in the wrong gang area. Good thing it was cold outside and there wasn't anyone hanging out outside.
I was at Juvi the other night and I was re-named Bonnie Blue Eyes (he doesn't know that my Grandpa calls me Bonnie Blue because of my blue eyes.) This kid was shocked by how blue my eyes were... or maybe he was hitting on me? Either way, we had a really good conversation. It kills me every time I meet a kid that is in Juvi for the first time. They are always so quite, scared and asking, how do I get through this? I hate Juvi. It makes me so mad thinking about how many kids are there and how they are treated.
Finally talked to the girl I was tutoring way back when. She is having family problems. There is so much going on with her I couldn't even begin to talk about everything going on with her. I guess my only question is, when can you tell someone that its time to worry about themselves than worry about everyone else?
Each week always circles around to the same problems: race, family problems, gang lines, discrimination, why is this crazy white girl still here? So here I am, blue eyes and all.... still here, thinking.
Here's a rough lay out:
Discrimination
17 dollars lighter
Help-Portrait
Birthday weekend
Shinan's (shenanigans)
We'll start out simple.... ha, I guess. Last week I had quite the convo. Someone was in to have their paper looked at, the paper was over "discrimination." So, myself and one of the boys started out with the basics, what is discrimination, what kind... wait? what kind of discrimination?-- you know, age, race, work, sex, ect ect ect. WOW timeout there is more than just race discrimination? (why yes, and so we begin) After internet searching, google (is great) and so forth, we stumbled upon this conversation. (I will try my best to relay the conversation) We are saying A-the other person B- is ME!
A. Bonnie can I ask you a question, and you promise you won't get angry with me?
B. I don't ever get mad, so of course you can.
A. You are here, the same age as I am, and you have this job. I could do your job. I know how to act, help and work with kids that come in and out of here. And you don't have their trust yet and don't know how to act with them yet. And you get paid for this. I feel like I have been discriminated against because you have this job and I didn't even get the chance.
B. But I don't get paid for this, I am a volunteer. I am here to learn and give back. I'm not here for recognition or a pay check.
A. But you get something in the end right? Like you are here because of school, or you will write a paper about this and get credit, or money for school right? Overall, you get something out of this right?
B. Sure, I get something out of this. I get the experience. I guess I get to add something else on my resume, thats all though...
A. Oh... well then you are here volunteering and its not part of school or anything like that. Volunteers always say that they are here to give back. Well, that's what all the older people say. They say they want to give back. But your 23 now, you haven't received anything. How can you give back something, if you haven't received anything yet?
Its like this idea keeps haunting me, poking at me every once in a while, right as I am forgetting, it pops up.-- So why are you here? Its like I am this huge mystery that everyone is trying to figure out.. surprise! I'm trying to figure it out too! It's interesting. I love being here, even if I am not doing a whole heck of a lot. I am learning more and more about people. Trying to think of ways to get some of these boys, some of my favorites to reach their potentials, trying to get them to think about the big picture, get them away from here. But, I don't know how.
Yesterday, I left 17 dollars in my purse. Strategically waiting for me to use it on my Target run to buy face wash and toothpaste. Well, I got to Target, picked up my desired whitening toothpaste and exfoliating face wash, opened up my wallet and BAM! Nothing was there. Cooooool. I guess I will confess and say that I'm not surprised that it didn't happen any sooner. I was mad, more than mad, pissed. The next day I was talking to one of the boys about it and he was so nice. He was sorry he didn't warn me sooner, or gave me some tips as to what I should have done. He just sat there and shook his head and apologized for whoever it was. Well, all I can hope for is that the money was spent on something good right (except who I thought it was miiiight have showed up later high..... nice) Moooooving on :)
Help-Portrait was a success, so I hear! I was unable to make it on that Saturday, but everyone said it was... organized chaos. So... sounds like a success to me!
My birthday weekend was fab! Best birthday I have had in years! No really! The past four years my birthday always landed on the week before college finals. Yuck! This year three of my best friends came up. We stayed down on Michigan ave. Shopped, walked, sight seeing, shopping, drinks, pizza, the bean, shopping. You know... all that fun stuff. It was so good! Now if only just one of them lived here!
I gave someone a ride yesterday and he asked me the next time we drove together, not to drive down the street that I did. Even though he wasn't in a gang, he was black, and he was in the wrong gang area. Good thing it was cold outside and there wasn't anyone hanging out outside.
I was at Juvi the other night and I was re-named Bonnie Blue Eyes (he doesn't know that my Grandpa calls me Bonnie Blue because of my blue eyes.) This kid was shocked by how blue my eyes were... or maybe he was hitting on me? Either way, we had a really good conversation. It kills me every time I meet a kid that is in Juvi for the first time. They are always so quite, scared and asking, how do I get through this? I hate Juvi. It makes me so mad thinking about how many kids are there and how they are treated.
Finally talked to the girl I was tutoring way back when. She is having family problems. There is so much going on with her I couldn't even begin to talk about everything going on with her. I guess my only question is, when can you tell someone that its time to worry about themselves than worry about everyone else?
Each week always circles around to the same problems: race, family problems, gang lines, discrimination, why is this crazy white girl still here? So here I am, blue eyes and all.... still here, thinking.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Help-Portrait
Here's where you come in....
Here at PBMR (Precious Blood Ministry of Reconciliation, duuuuh where I work) we are collaborating with a project called Help-Portrait. The basic breakdown is, professional photographers come and volunteer their time at lower income areas. We strategically pick a place to house these photographers, people to do hair and make-up, everything! Families or people get to come and get their family photo's taken, and receive a FREE photo! Here is the video for this years campaign, I dare you not to shiver or smile when watching this video ;)
Here at PBMR (Precious Blood Ministry of Reconciliation, duuuuh where I work) we are collaborating with a project called Help-Portrait. The basic breakdown is, professional photographers come and volunteer their time at lower income areas. We strategically pick a place to house these photographers, people to do hair and make-up, everything! Families or people get to come and get their family photo's taken, and receive a FREE photo! Here is the video for this years campaign, I dare you not to shiver or smile when watching this video ;)
Told ya not to smile :) I am super excited to be promoting such an awesome event. It's funny to think about family photo's and thinking that some families have never had one before. Back home we have a whole wall of family photo's, you can buy a book at Urban Outfitters filled with "awkward family photo's (which I love picking up when I am there and leafing through it... classic). But through Help-Portrait you get this awesome opportunity for a family photo with REAL/Professional photographers AND a print out for FREE! So tight.
Here's the deal. We maaaay or may need a little funding. All proceeds go to buying the photo paper, ink, printers ect. No one makes any money here, we just need a little bit of help (who knew all paper and all that stuff cost so much!) Here is the link to donate: http://bit.ly/HP_Chicago
My birthday is this Friday (if you didn't know ;)) and I have a few friends coming in town for it!!! Hopefully, I can talk em into volunteering for a bit at the event. hehe
Another way you can help is just send some positive vibes and prayers our way! This is the first time that we will be doing this here in Back of the Yards (the area I work in, they have this event elsewhere throughout the city as well). This week is our week to promote the event! EEEK! We just hope that we are successful in gathering a lot of families to come and take advantage of this awesome opportunity. So, be thinking about us, hoping that this is a success!
I wonder if I should just walk down the street with a big ol sign promoting all the info for the event in a Statue of Liberty costume would help? What......everyone else promotes stuff that way? haha
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Home Sweet Home: Thanksgiving addition
Ahhh a break from all the Chicago action for just a little while.... such a much needed break! I was beginning to think too much, ask too many questions, worry about nothing, stress about who knows what and have a constant antsy feeling like, I needed to be doing SOMETHING!
The day before I was to come home I was literally jumping all over the office, being an absolute crazy girl, laughing about anything and everything, jib jabberin about anything to whoever would listen. (And I only had one cup of coffee that day too! I am sure everyone thought I was a nut case haha) I knew that I would be coming home for a short stay and I couldn't sit still! After hours of running all over, packing, kind of sleeping I was finally on my way home! Once on the plane, a quick read through the latest People Magazine, a complimentary water and all of the sudden, "Welcome to Kansas City," came over the intercom. As lame as I am... not gunna lie, I miiiiiight have had some watery eyes and an escaped tear here and there. I was home.
As my week flew by, I learned a few things. My family is AMAZING (well I already knew that, but it never hurts to have a reminder here and there) Getting home, picking up my Niece and Nephew from school, game night at Grandpa's, my first night home, I was happier than happy. It's true what they say, "Home is where the heart is," (eww I totally sound like a cheese ball) family is who you are, they are the people that have truly been there for me. I've had some rough times and realizations in Chicago. Its those bad days that by chance I get a random e-mail, text, letter or phone call from one of them that has helped me push through every day. I don't think I can thank them enough for how much I love them. And of course, my friends never cease to amaze me. Those girls that have been my friends for so long, its funny, we may not see each other allll the time, but it doesn't matter. Time passes, but just because time passes doesn't mean the friendship does. You graduate college, run off in different directions, and when you take that path, you learn not only a lot about yourself, but about who cares about you, supports you and is truly there for you. This week has shown me who those people are. Its been an interesting realization to say the least ;)
I finally feel rested up, stuffed (no seriously, I still have a stomach ache), energized and .... happy. I would be a liar if I said that I didn't miss Chicago, because I have. I can't wait to get back and jump in on some new project, get some old ones re-kindled and do... what I do (again, still trying to figure that out haha)
So until Christmas here is the itinerary: (according to my nieces and nephew haha)
1. Bon-Bon's Birthday (Which I am VERY excited for some visitors and maybe my BEST birthday in YEARS!!)
2. Col-Col's baby is born (pretty bummed I will miss out on this one... BUT I call first dibs on him when I get back.... GODMOTHERS get to go to the front of the line... according to me!)
3. Christmas! (and then of course... thats all that matters to an 8, 6 and 4 year old! SO... thats all I'm planing for too)
I need to make a b-day/Christmas list... But I don't know what to put, I don't really need anything. I am a lot richer than I thought :)
I take that back.... I do need snow boots... but thats all! (rumor has it, this winter will be one of Chicago's worst winters, did I ever mention that I am a whimp when it comes to super cold weather? Yes, I did move to Chicago, knowing this.... Truelife: I am a nutcase.) Till... later- Peace
Look for a new update pretty soon! I need YOUR help with something!!!!!
The day before I was to come home I was literally jumping all over the office, being an absolute crazy girl, laughing about anything and everything, jib jabberin about anything to whoever would listen. (And I only had one cup of coffee that day too! I am sure everyone thought I was a nut case haha) I knew that I would be coming home for a short stay and I couldn't sit still! After hours of running all over, packing, kind of sleeping I was finally on my way home! Once on the plane, a quick read through the latest People Magazine, a complimentary water and all of the sudden, "Welcome to Kansas City," came over the intercom. As lame as I am... not gunna lie, I miiiiiight have had some watery eyes and an escaped tear here and there. I was home.
As my week flew by, I learned a few things. My family is AMAZING (well I already knew that, but it never hurts to have a reminder here and there) Getting home, picking up my Niece and Nephew from school, game night at Grandpa's, my first night home, I was happier than happy. It's true what they say, "Home is where the heart is," (eww I totally sound like a cheese ball) family is who you are, they are the people that have truly been there for me. I've had some rough times and realizations in Chicago. Its those bad days that by chance I get a random e-mail, text, letter or phone call from one of them that has helped me push through every day. I don't think I can thank them enough for how much I love them. And of course, my friends never cease to amaze me. Those girls that have been my friends for so long, its funny, we may not see each other allll the time, but it doesn't matter. Time passes, but just because time passes doesn't mean the friendship does. You graduate college, run off in different directions, and when you take that path, you learn not only a lot about yourself, but about who cares about you, supports you and is truly there for you. This week has shown me who those people are. Its been an interesting realization to say the least ;)
I finally feel rested up, stuffed (no seriously, I still have a stomach ache), energized and .... happy. I would be a liar if I said that I didn't miss Chicago, because I have. I can't wait to get back and jump in on some new project, get some old ones re-kindled and do... what I do (again, still trying to figure that out haha)
So until Christmas here is the itinerary: (according to my nieces and nephew haha)
1. Bon-Bon's Birthday (Which I am VERY excited for some visitors and maybe my BEST birthday in YEARS!!)
2. Col-Col's baby is born (pretty bummed I will miss out on this one... BUT I call first dibs on him when I get back.... GODMOTHERS get to go to the front of the line... according to me!)
3. Christmas! (and then of course... thats all that matters to an 8, 6 and 4 year old! SO... thats all I'm planing for too)
I need to make a b-day/Christmas list... But I don't know what to put, I don't really need anything. I am a lot richer than I thought :)
I take that back.... I do need snow boots... but thats all! (rumor has it, this winter will be one of Chicago's worst winters, did I ever mention that I am a whimp when it comes to super cold weather? Yes, I did move to Chicago, knowing this.... Truelife: I am a nutcase.) Till... later- Peace
Look for a new update pretty soon! I need YOUR help with something!!!!!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
I get it... but I don't get it.
It has been really hard to try and explain to the boys why I am here. I can't say its my job, because its not. If I say I am a volunteer, there second question is why am I here all day and what is my second job? Finally concluding in, where do you live, how do you have money, and then of course when I tell them I am living with Sister Donna the next question is, are you a nun?
When I fully explain what I am doing here I get this small twinge of guilt mid sentence everytime. Here I am a college graduate, volunteering a year. The population I work with see's a college degree as the golden ticket out of their neighborhoods. Here I am with one, first comming to their neighborhood. They ask me why, why am I here? Why would I waste a year of my life, at 22, volunteering in the ghetto of Chicago?
I never know what to say now. In the beginning it was easy. Now that I have been here a little longer, gotten to know the issues of the culture, and have made friendships, its harder. Now I feel some what guilty. I have nice cloths, I don't wear the same thing every day or even twice a week. I don't worry about a cold house when I get home. I don't worry about food. All of those things are just minor issues. I don't worry about surviving, staying alive.
You always see movies coming out about the ghetto and how its portrayed and you think its so untrue. People belive racism is dead; non-existant. Some see the poor as lazy, dumb and African Americans as violent.
I'm not going to sit here and lecture or blab about social issues. No one wants to hear of some ones account or take on such issues. But each of the issues stated above... exist in a bigger way than many belive. Racism is very much still in our world. The poor have never been given good education and a quality chance to overcome... anything. African Americans are not violent.
All I am saying today is that.... I get it..... but I will never get it because I never lived it.
This week I was, for the first time scared. After that minor encounter it shook me up big time. Then I saw a movie that was very cleaver in disguising the portrayal of America and the poor and rich. These events all following the week before with the art exhibit. All these events and encounters made me shift in my ideas of why I am here and my views of the people around me.
I still can't answer the question, "why are you here?" Beacuse frankly.... i'm not exactly sure yet. What I can say is that I have learned far more than my college degree ever taught me, and its only been roughly, 3 months. And with my faith... I am here for a reason, I just haven't quite figured out why yet.... but in time, I will know.
So maybe the title of this blog shouldn't be, "I get it, but I don'g get it," but instead, "I get it, but I never will get it."
When I fully explain what I am doing here I get this small twinge of guilt mid sentence everytime. Here I am a college graduate, volunteering a year. The population I work with see's a college degree as the golden ticket out of their neighborhoods. Here I am with one, first comming to their neighborhood. They ask me why, why am I here? Why would I waste a year of my life, at 22, volunteering in the ghetto of Chicago?
I never know what to say now. In the beginning it was easy. Now that I have been here a little longer, gotten to know the issues of the culture, and have made friendships, its harder. Now I feel some what guilty. I have nice cloths, I don't wear the same thing every day or even twice a week. I don't worry about a cold house when I get home. I don't worry about food. All of those things are just minor issues. I don't worry about surviving, staying alive.
You always see movies coming out about the ghetto and how its portrayed and you think its so untrue. People belive racism is dead; non-existant. Some see the poor as lazy, dumb and African Americans as violent.
I'm not going to sit here and lecture or blab about social issues. No one wants to hear of some ones account or take on such issues. But each of the issues stated above... exist in a bigger way than many belive. Racism is very much still in our world. The poor have never been given good education and a quality chance to overcome... anything. African Americans are not violent.
All I am saying today is that.... I get it..... but I will never get it because I never lived it.
This week I was, for the first time scared. After that minor encounter it shook me up big time. Then I saw a movie that was very cleaver in disguising the portrayal of America and the poor and rich. These events all following the week before with the art exhibit. All these events and encounters made me shift in my ideas of why I am here and my views of the people around me.
I still can't answer the question, "why are you here?" Beacuse frankly.... i'm not exactly sure yet. What I can say is that I have learned far more than my college degree ever taught me, and its only been roughly, 3 months. And with my faith... I am here for a reason, I just haven't quite figured out why yet.... but in time, I will know.
So maybe the title of this blog shouldn't be, "I get it, but I don'g get it," but instead, "I get it, but I never will get it."
Monday, November 7, 2011
A weekend.....
As promised.... another post after the eventful weekend! Saturday, along with co-workers, we took a group of the boys to Ohio. The boys that came were ones who come to the center frequently. We drove to Salina, OH where a fun little cabin awaited us. The big question was.... who was going to ride with me in my car? haha It was either me, or the van with Fr. Denny along with a TV and of course, the Xbox. Poor Jonathan had to ride with me first haha... after getting out of the city the music wasn't coming through.... this is what happens when all I have in my car is a Taylor swift CD...... haha oops
Once we got to the cabin, I felt like I was babysitting 10-11 year old boys instead of hanging out with 18-22 year old's. Each ran to the rooms to claim their place to sleep. Once that was done we went out to the little pond out back where the competition of skipping rocks began, and "who can hit the bush with a rock on the other side of the pond." In the distance you could see a deer stand... or in other words, "the club house." As they ran around looking at everything and laughing I couldn't help but laugh right along. Then they found one of those paddle boats and of course they had to pull that out.
 |
| Getting a little too close to the water in the back? |
 |
| Everyone in the boat: Success! |
Of course there were a few, uh malfunctions. Once they were in, the peddles didn't work oopsies.... so they were just kind of.... floatin around. And then of course they got scared and jumped out as soon as they got close to the edge, no one grabbing the rope. So, it went a float. haha I have not laughed that hard in a long time, tears streaming down my face. Amazingly enough, no one actually fell in, just a little water on the shoes. 
Later in the night, as it began to get a dark outside, I guess the environment created some creative minds? The boys thought it would be a great idea to make a movie! Of course a murder movie. Typical, car breaks down, creepy house near by and people are disappearing left and right ;) Yes, we made a movie.... well only half. After yelling how the plot would go, and then filming some we got a little side tracked. Too bad though.... I think it would have been a hit hahaSunday morning we woke up, ate some fillet Mignon and eggs (no that was not a typo.... that was breakfast, compliments of Trader Joe's donations). Then off to Dayton to see an art exhibit. The exhibit was titles, "KKK: Kin Killing Kin," by James Pate. The art was a powerful and thought-provoking series of images reflecting Pate’s deep love for youth and his great concern for the epidemic of youth violence in the African American community. This is one of the most critical social ills of our time—Youth violence. Here is some of his art.
 |
"Your History" I'm the king of the drug trade, Which is the number one option and the number one means of commerce that dominates my exposure. I am ready to kill or be killed by any kin that opposes my effort. I'm prepared to lose my life at the hand of any kin in defense of my commodity. I'm a descendant of the Ife Kingdom Olokun, founder of the Yoruba Dynasty of West Africa. I am what I am not. |
After viewing the art work we got to meet the artist, James Pate. The exhibit was moving and the conversation was beautiful. As we sat in circle and listened to the voices and stories of many African American males that came just to see the boys, I couldn't help but sit there and watch each of their faces. Each face was so involved, every one of them grasping on each word that was shared. Then they shared their lives, their troubles and triumphs, their wishes. (To a minimal.)
During the Civil Rights movement over 6,000 African Americans were lynched. In our world today 2,000 African Americans are killed because of youth violence. Many of those killings are brothers killing brothers. Many of these pictures hold a history of America's past and Americas present. In many of the pictures if you look the into the backgrounds you find African Americans being hosed down by firemen, in the foreground, kin killing kin. What America fought so hard to make disappeared, is still present today. It's just in a different form.
This weekend I got to watch these boys evolve from the men they are into silly teenagers running around a cabin doing things I did when I was 4 years old (skipping rocks) riding in a boat (any time) and making a video (definitely did that in high school) then back into men. I got to hear what they thought of the art, hear about their lives and get to know them a little bit more. I know I have barely been here at all but I had this feeling of being.... proud. Proud and privileged to be able to just sit and watch them, even if I am the intimidating white girl that's always around, skinny and pretty eyes. I'll take what I can get :)
Friday, November 4, 2011
Just another week....... (whatever that means)
Last weekend I had the blessed visit of some familiar faces! My Mom and sister came to visit!!! It was definitely perfect timing. I was able to take the weekend to just relax, stay in a nice hotel and feel as if I was almost on a vacation as well! I showed em the hood, then we walked through Grant Park, people watched in Millennium park by the bean, shopped around a bit and caught Mary Poppins on Saturday! (I am kicking myself now for not taking ANY pictures... so dumb.) Sunday we walked Navy Pier and relaxed at the hotel and then caught a Second City show.Of course we grabbed some Garrett's Popcorn and Gino's deep dish pizza. My favorite part of the weekend though was just sitting and doing nothing. For the first time in a long time I was able to just sit and relax. I didn't have to stress about anything (I am learning I stress about way to much...and for no reason at all) I was in my comfort zone where I could just fall asleep on the couch, or sit and talk about anything I wanted. I didn't have to explain myself or worry about what someone thought about what I was saying. I was with family. I miss that comfort zone.
The past week I got a new education. Halloween. In the past I would have had 3 different costumes for the different parties in college. This year... I didn't dress up at all (that was kind of sad haha) Most people know that Halloween in the ghettos are known as gang initiation. In the Hispanic culture they refer to it as Day of the Dead; a day to come together and remember those who have died. Now, put all those things together.... what do you get? Killing and violence. The Thursday before Halloween there was a gang war not far from where I work. In remembrance of a former gang member, one gang went after the other. One boy was killed, another hospitalized. When Monday came everyone in the office was almost a little on edge. You could feel minds spinning, questions to the boys, "What are you doing tonight?" ect. Trick or Treaters leave the neighborhood to go elsewhere or one street is protected by police to allow safe trick or treating. Some areas restrict Trick or Treating hours 3-6 (daylight). I can see about a bazillion things wrong with this picture. How many do you see?
Wednesday night we had a bonfire in the parking lot of our center! We are celebrating 100 days of peace; Make your voice heard! How/what will you do to make peace heard in your community? We had a bonfire and invited local non-profits in the area, shelters and neighbors down the block. It was a success. We think maybe 75-100 people came! I of course was so excited because I would get to have a yummy s'more made on an actual bonfire (my former diet I had 2 summers ago when I was working in Yellowstone)! When we were inviting people, some of the boys said they had never had a s'more before, or roasted hot dogs. I was shocked. When the bonfire was built I think that they all thought I was nuts roasting my hot dog and making a s'more. As they watched many other people doing the same all the sudden they were all over that fire doing the same. AND enjoying it! Just because they may look burnt, doesn't mean they taste burnt. It was a fun night. We are trying to, "Put the neighbor back in the hood."
I woke up this morning, walked outside... annnnd had my first parking ticket...Welcome to Chicago.... apparently there was a sign A BLOCK down from where my car was, that said that the street was supposed to be cleared for street cleaning.... thank God a neighbor was out and said that the neighbors were going to fight it. Apparently no one else saw the sign either and got a ticket as well.... so fingers crossed we win? So lame. At least the neighbor was super nice and helpful!!
Agenda for the day/weekend: China town (I need a new phone cover... pray I can find one WITHOUT Hello Kitty on it!), Remembrance mass tonight and then tomorrow-Sunday myself and Fr. Denny are taking a group of boys to Dayton, OH to see an art exhibit called, Kin Killing Kin (KKK, play on words?) So, it should be an interesting weekend to say the least. Check the blog on Sunday... I am sure there will need to be an update.
Until then, happy weekend!
The past week I got a new education. Halloween. In the past I would have had 3 different costumes for the different parties in college. This year... I didn't dress up at all (that was kind of sad haha) Most people know that Halloween in the ghettos are known as gang initiation. In the Hispanic culture they refer to it as Day of the Dead; a day to come together and remember those who have died. Now, put all those things together.... what do you get? Killing and violence. The Thursday before Halloween there was a gang war not far from where I work. In remembrance of a former gang member, one gang went after the other. One boy was killed, another hospitalized. When Monday came everyone in the office was almost a little on edge. You could feel minds spinning, questions to the boys, "What are you doing tonight?" ect. Trick or Treaters leave the neighborhood to go elsewhere or one street is protected by police to allow safe trick or treating. Some areas restrict Trick or Treating hours 3-6 (daylight). I can see about a bazillion things wrong with this picture. How many do you see?
Wednesday night we had a bonfire in the parking lot of our center! We are celebrating 100 days of peace; Make your voice heard! How/what will you do to make peace heard in your community? We had a bonfire and invited local non-profits in the area, shelters and neighbors down the block. It was a success. We think maybe 75-100 people came! I of course was so excited because I would get to have a yummy s'more made on an actual bonfire (my former diet I had 2 summers ago when I was working in Yellowstone)! When we were inviting people, some of the boys said they had never had a s'more before, or roasted hot dogs. I was shocked. When the bonfire was built I think that they all thought I was nuts roasting my hot dog and making a s'more. As they watched many other people doing the same all the sudden they were all over that fire doing the same. AND enjoying it! Just because they may look burnt, doesn't mean they taste burnt. It was a fun night. We are trying to, "Put the neighbor back in the hood."
I woke up this morning, walked outside... annnnd had my first parking ticket...Welcome to Chicago.... apparently there was a sign A BLOCK down from where my car was, that said that the street was supposed to be cleared for street cleaning.... thank God a neighbor was out and said that the neighbors were going to fight it. Apparently no one else saw the sign either and got a ticket as well.... so fingers crossed we win? So lame. At least the neighbor was super nice and helpful!!
Agenda for the day/weekend: China town (I need a new phone cover... pray I can find one WITHOUT Hello Kitty on it!), Remembrance mass tonight and then tomorrow-Sunday myself and Fr. Denny are taking a group of boys to Dayton, OH to see an art exhibit called, Kin Killing Kin (KKK, play on words?) So, it should be an interesting weekend to say the least. Check the blog on Sunday... I am sure there will need to be an update.
Until then, happy weekend!
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