Thursday, September 22, 2011

Juvi.......

Well, I went and I survived and I think I even liked going to the Juvenile Detention center! From here on out, I will be going every Tuesday and Thursday night. Here's the deal, we get there and you go through all these crazy security check points. I have a little badge that says I'm allowed and official to be there. I'm with the church... haha Soon we enter these elevators to take us to the different floors of kids. Each floor is assigned to different kinds of kids who committed crimes. One floor might be minor misdemeanors, others are more serious. (obviously)

You would think I would be scared out of my life, how and what am I supposed to talk to these kids about? I'm just this white girl from Kearney, Missouri. Naive little girl who looks like she is still in the 8th grade half the time. I was challenged the second I walked into one of the rooms with stares from guys that could easily break me physically and mentally om half. That whole intimidation thing. I knew what I was getting myself into. But I walked in smiling and waving, over confident. I had no idea what I was doing, but they didn't know that. So I pretended. I talked to each of them like I would a friend. I think they were shocked. They stuttered and then didn't know what to talk about at first. Then they just started talking, and opening up to conversation; why they were there, how long, do they regret it, what they want to change ect. Everything and anything. Then before I left they asked to pray. Simple as that. I was overwhelmed by the faith and hope of some of these boys.

Its true, those boys that are in Juvi...Truth: they need re-direction and discipline. But those boys are only boys. Scared for their lives, wanting to get out of gang life, wanting to be safe, wanting someone to care. They haven't come across much to be proud of nor any kind of opportunity to better themselves. Maybe they have been to Juvi 6 times. You would think they would learn right? Wrong.... its just a way of life here. Someone deals drugs to feed their family. Someone was at the wrong place at the wrong time. If you were born into this environment, how do you get out... alive? without scares? with someone who actually cares about you? Good luck.....

My hope for so many of these boys.... there are places that can help, but they have to decide and take advantage of whats good. It has to be their choice first. The boys at the center I work at are great. They are here because it is a safe environment for them. They do want to better themselves, they do want to get their GED so that they can get a degree in the future and feed their family. Our walls are only so thick. When they leave, yes they can always come back tomorrow, but they have to make the right decisions out there. Sometimes the difference between right and wrong is a tough one. I too am learning that.

As I mentally prepare myself to head back to Juvi tonight, I have made sure NOT to wear my skinny jeans (big mistake... maybe I'll go wash my makeup off before hand too?) I am sure to walk in over confident and ready for yet... just another Thursday night...

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like that could be mentally and emotionally draining...keep up with the positive attitude and your sunshiny personality, you might not change lives, but you will at least add a bright spot to their day.
    And I would definately skip the skinny jeans and tone down the makeup when you go. Are you there by yourself or do other people go with you? Do you meet with them in one big open room or are you going cell to cell? Just trying to get a clearer picture of the environment you are working in....
    Be careful out there. Love you seester!

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